From this week we will be discussing the topics that we have talked about previously, in our blog about ‘Identity’ . Today we’re going to explore our first topic, Emotions.

Let’s start with the basics. How would you categorize all the things you feel? Now, many Psychologists have many different ways of doing this, but I will share with you the method I find the best and most applicable.

In this method, what we feel has been divided into Four Primary Emotions which then combine to form other Secondary Emotions.

As you can see these are our basic emotions. Everyone experiences these almost on a daily basis. But there are also several other emotions that we experience, such as Surprise, Frustration, Disgust etc. These are the secondary emotions. If you notice, these feelings are a combination of the basic feelings. For example, Sadness combined with Anger becomes Disgust. Happiness combined with momentary fear becomes Surprise. Although, you can be Happily Surprised, Sadly Surprised or even Angrily Surprised. So if you see the Four Basic Emotions are the pillars of what we feel.

Why is it Important to understand Emotions?

Our feelings influence everything that we do. You might have noticed people saying, “I don’t feel like doing this today.” What we feel or experience in our mind, directly influences our thoughts, actions, relationships, work life, family life and so many other things. You will notice that your productivity is quite high whenever you’re feeling happy and joyous. On the other hand it’s very low whenever you’re feeling sad, scared or even angry. You stay away from people who bring sorrow into your life and stick with the people who make it joyful. So if you see, Our Emotions are literally in control of our life. They are also very crucial in determining our Values, Behaviors and Habits which make up our identity. They are an important part of our identity and hence we’re discussing them first. It is a very vast topic, and its not possible to discuss all aspects of it here. So hence, we will be discussing about the basic things we can do to work with our emotions.

Normally people give too much control to emotions. People taking wrong decisions when they are angry is something that we all have experienced or seen. Don’t deny it. Its very common. To lead a peaceful life, it becomes very important for us to be aware of how our emotions are influencing it. Otherwise we will keep taking the wrong decisions.

When awareness is brought into an emotion, power is brought into life.

Tara Meyer Robson

We maybe in control of our thoughts, but as you might’ve noticed our emotions are in control of us. So if they manage to pollute our minds and souls, they will eventually ruin everything in our lives; our relationships, our work life and our overall mental peace and stability. Being consumed by our emotions is not rare, it’s actually very very common. You might’ve seen this happen to so many people around you. It’s symptoms might be very easy notice in some cases, in some they might be invisible. Maybe even you have been consumed by your feelings at some point in life. After this happens people mostly end up feeling drained and miserable. What we feel literally CONSUMES our time, thoughts and energy. Remember the person who is affected the most by this is you. Not anyone else. This consumption will keep happening unless we learn how to work with our emotions and use them to get positive outcomes rather than the usual negative ones. This is something called as Emotional Intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the ability to perceive, control and evaluate our Emotions. We’ll talk in brief about how we can develop our EQ, which trust me is as important as our IQ. Around us, people are so focused on building the latter, that discussions about emotional topics are nowhere to be found. You will easily find people who ask about your studies and marks. But it’s extremely rare to find a person that will be willing to have a talk with you about your life and mental health. The ignorance towards such topics is the major reason for the increase in the number of people suffering with mental health problems all over the world. Well, I don’t want to keep criticizing anyone, so let’s focus on the important part. How do we develop our EQ?

There are several ways to do this and obviously we can’t discuss all of them, so we will talk about the process that we already practiced using. I’m attaching a Self Evaluation Guide specifically designed for Emotions using the 4 A’s – Awareness, Acceptance, Assessment and Accomplishment. Try doing the simple things mentioned in it, and you’ll start noticing the subtle yet effective changes in your lifestyle.

I hope you have fun doing all the activities that I attach at the end of each post. I’m sure they will be helpful if you continue to do them on a regular basis and with real hunger for learning and self exploration. Leave a comment below if you liked today’s post and do share it with your friends who might be interested. Thank you for the tremendous amount of love you have been showering us with! Happy Journey!

Love, Ninad.